Declaration of the Rights of Rude Mechanicals
The Rude Mechanical Orchestra likes to eat, drink (water and other beverages, natch), go to the bathroom, rest, know that our equipment and our performances are relatively secure, show pictures of us actin’ a fool to mom and dad, coordinate with friendly, consistent, appreciative people, remain unincarcerated (with the rare agreed upon in advance exception), and last but definitely not least rock the house.

So in the interests of all of the above let’s go over some of the simple details of how, together, we can accomplish all this, and make your event a success without unnecessarily stressing out either y’all or us. It’s not really difficult, yo.

  • One RudeMo will be your contact before the event. At the event, one RudeMo will be your sole contact for changes, alerts, routes, band needs, etc.
  • Please designate one person on your side to deal with us before and at the gig.
  • Do some thoughtful planning. Minimize on-the-fly changes. Accommodate our multitude and motion. Think moose: surprisingly agile, but large, oddly-shaped, and needing space—often a lot of space! We are often a really big band.
  • Much-appreciated amenities include:
    • Safe storage
    • Transport for instrument cases during marches
    • Toilets
    • Dressing room
    • Booze/water/food/booze
    • Chaperones in marches and crowds
    • Pics & vids of the show
    • Parking for bikes (many) & cars (a couple)
  • Coordinate and warn us about any possible or intended illegalities, hazards, and stupidities, such as: The Man, drunk fire freaks, airborne liquids, etc.
  • At parades, keep a clear space in front of us for our majorettes, trombone slides, and spit-valve discharges.
  • If you're going to be chanting, we would love to see a chant list and coordinate with your chant leader so we can lock in together!
  • If you want us to lead a crowd, we’ll help play pied piper, but not shepherd.
  • The sooner you ask, the likelier we can play your event. If we can’t, we can’t. Maybe your next one (we’re nuts busy). Schooldays before 6:30 PM are tough for us to make.
  • Days before your event, give us times for load-in/line-up, performance, and wrap.
  • If you ask us to play without first securing performance time and space, you’re going to hell, where you’ll spend all eternity listening to Emerson, Lake & Palmer’s “Love Beach”.
  • We have real expenses, including legal, so $ is much appreciated.
  • In-kind help rocks. Including: instruments, bikes, sewing, welding, chaperoning, merch, transport, grammar help, graphics, recording…